So I'm having a bad day...

~ So I'm having a bad day,is this always your style, to just turn away? ...when things get a little rough,
I thought, you were oh so tough,

But I see you are not, just like the rest...
And you've left me here to guess,

what's going on in your mind, in this moment in time, when I'm having a bad day,
why do you just turn and slip away?

I thought you of all people would understand,
I thought when I needed you'd be there to hold my hand. (Don't we all need that even JUST
every once in awhile?) I think its true, I know we all do.

But you slipped away, now there is nothing more to say,

But I won't say I'm sorry for having a bad day...

Dedicated to the Amazing Michael Jackson..."What Did You Endure"

"What Did You Endure Behind the Hidden Words You Never Spoke"

Behind the shadows of your mind, you told me so many things~ without really saying anything,
so what should I have seen that I missed?

The pain and hurt you carried all of your life, and yet I never really knew the depths of it,till you
were gone, and now it's too late, and though~ with all that I am, I want to bring you back...
I, cannot...

What did you Endure? Behind the hidden words you never spoke~ should I have been able to
look beyond what I could not see, and read those words? I wish I would have seen the silent pain
you sat in~ lonely, but yet not alone...

Maybe you would still be here today~if I had only known, but you are gone,and I don't know what to do, to "right the
wrongs" that have been done to you...

What did you feel? Behind that "Smile" you showed the world, the softest sweetest side of you,but what was
really going on, hidden deep beneath that "Smile" you portrayed to all~ should I have seen, the inner pain~
and if I could have, would things be different?

"They" took you away before you were EVEN GONE~ Killed your soul with lies and deception,mistrust,hate,evil,prejudice,~all
the things that you stood up to fight against,

I watched as you silently slipped away, one little bit of your soul at a time, ~like a piece of a missing puzzle,never to
be fully complete...they tore away at your very being.

I am so sorry I did not "See" what you could not "Say" in words~ I should have "Seen" it on your face, "Felt" it from
your heart, "heard" it from your soul~ but... with such deep pain and regret, I did not...and now you are gone forever, and
nothing ~ ever, will bring you back.

So how do I live with what I know that you did not say? I will not sit back,silently~ any longer~ for as a story needs to
be written, this one is etched in my mind,ready to be told~ and in time, you will have true vindication~my promise to you.
I loved you~ I love you still,and I cannot stand quietly behind the masquerade of life, and not let the world know,
what I know ~ the unspoken words you told me... that I did not hear, till...now.


"Love Lives On" ~J.Michaels 

(Copyright protected) 

What's a girl to do when she gets the blues?

She goes out and buys new shoes!!!

Universal Me...

The clouds that are my feelings, dark when I get angry~ The thunder that is my rage, can shake the ground when I'm in pain... The lightning that is my power,damages where it hits, but doesn't always go where I want it to,I'm so sorry if it ever comes at you~

The sky that is my happiness is a blanket wrapped around me,The sun that is my vision shines on all to see, The rain that is my sadness must start falling sometimes...The space that is my mind is often too vast to say I know it...

Universal me~ countless things~ that make me "be"...

The Piano~

Up and down the scales of the piano of my life~ played in minor keys that tell the sadness inside of me in a way that even the perfect words cannot express~

Relaxation of the body and mind~ purified in every line of music played, filling the "Spirit" with harmonies ever to touch the ear,or touch the human heart~

As I float away~ my fingers remain, anchoring me,to everything that can be pieced together,

hard work,

knowledge,

freedom,

expression;

and gradually the pain fades into the bars of music played~ while the world waits patiently~

for me~

...to create the harmony...

Spirit

"Spirit"
The breath of life, the animating principle giving life to to all organisms.

In early spring I sit down on the old grass of winter and breathe in the newness rising from the earth.
In the roots, life is gathering in shy waves of power. After awhile if I breathe deeply and slowly, drinking in the watery, magical air, I feel a union with something larger, fuller, whole.

Just for a moment I move in harmony with one complex and dedicated design. I suppose that is
"Spirit" ~ The larger configuration, but so is each blade of grass my footsteps crush.

 I am a grounded creature, and I must answer mail, return phone calls and deal with the daily trivia of life.Each spring, though, the grass reminds me that if it is true spirit, flesh and nature are on and the same, its also clear that at times, the connection between them falters...

With each breath though, we can absorb life, as if drawing the first breath ever, and we we sleep, we can slip away in the peaceful bliss of not knowing who we are.

Dying to the light of winter, springing fiercely into air beneath the hand of the sun, grass is deathless, eager, humble...and we, we can be that way too, but it takes great effort to forget ourselves completely enough to know this, "Spirit" is the peaceful knowing of ALL things, only
grass recalls what tracks we left as we ran forward to catch hold of our bodies on their journey thru this world.